We’re not in the business of selling masks. We’re selling these. Would you like to know why?
We are lawyers and we have all sorts of fun promotional bling that we give away, but all of that is branded and usually in very small numbers for promotional purposes. Sometimes it can be expensive. The Lawyer Told Me Not to Talk to You face masks are expensive. By the time we get them, we’ve invested about $9.00 per mask. Then we need to ship them.
When we first showed one of our masks on Twitter it was clear that demand would far exceed our ability to provide them for promotional purposes. We decided to sell them. But we’re not really interested in making money from them.
We’ve donated a good chunk of money to charitable organizations over the years. This seemed like an opportunity to help out during a pandemic. The demand for the masks is so significant that we concluded we could use this as a fundraiser. So we will take $5 from each transaction and donate it to a charity of our choice. Get a stylish mask and help a Canadian registered charity. It’s a win-win. We’ll announce the total amount of donations raised in the next few months.
Why $14.99? We figure with purchase costs, labour and everything that’s probably our break even point. We could have made the price $15 but Terry O’Reilly advised against it.
To make this happen we have licensed the masks to Brazen Bull Creative. That’s the company selling the masks and making this happen.
20 years ago, Paul Doroshenko was a simple young lawyer with a simple plan: streamline legal advice for the modern world.
For decades, centuries perhaps, lawyers around the world had advised clients when they were dealing with police or in circumstances where they had a right to silence to tell the interrogators that “on the advice of counsel, I am not providing a statement.”
Because most clients did not understand the importance of the statement and what exactly was meant, they would then proceed to give a statement and usually badly undermine their case. Paul knew there had to be a solution.
Long nights in his dimly lit workshop, Paul worked on a solution to this vexing problem. He had to do the legal equivalent of developing the Wright Flyer into a modern jet aircraft. It would be no easy task.
Finally he developed a workable solution and he set out to field-test it. The initial tests showed very positive results but more could be done. Nevertheless, deploying this early prototype allowed Paul a distinct advantage in defending his clients. He put the new successes back into further research, and ultimately had developed a perfect solution. By then, he had established the Acumen Lab where it was put through vigorous testing.
When it was released, the new legal advice, “Lawyer Told Me Not to Talk to You®”, was quickly recognized as a breakthrough in legal advice unparalleled in modern times.
Clients could deploy “Lawyer Told Me Not to Talk to You®” with ease and interrogators were shut down. Vancouver police officers reported: “we don’t bother trying to get statements from your clients because they never talk.”
Lawyer Told Me Not to Talk to You® had succeeded in the field.
After several years of being told to patent “Lawyer Told Me Not to Talk to You®” Paul took the unusual step of registering this unique legal advice as a registered trademark of his law firm. “Lawyer Told Me Not to Talk to You®” could now be preserved and protected by its creator, Paul Doroshenko.
Fast forward to 2019. After some pressure Paul relented to allow the phrase to be used on branded reusable bags. The accolades continued pouring in, so a designer t-shirt label was approached to create branded t-shirts. The Lawyer Told Me Not to Talk to You® t-shirts were made in limited runs and quickly became highly coveted. Soon unauthorized, low-quality copies hit the market from a US retailer, but the public turned away due to FBI enforcement and obvious quality problems with the rip-offs.
Despite the criminal thefts of Paul’s trademark, he and his colleague Kyla Lee set out to write and record a Classic Lawyer Country music song of the same name.
The video was released in November 2019 and the song was made available on iTunes and Spotify. Within days their release of the song Lawyer Told Me Not to Talk to You shot to number one on the Classic Lawyer Country music charts.
The message had now reached around the world. The most important development in legal advice of our time had now taken hold globally. The music of Paul Doroshenko (AKA Prairie Paul) and Kyla Lee (AKA Boxcar Lee, Boxcar Kyla) as the AcuTones had become a fixture in the lives of countless good people around the globe. With new releases on the way, the world hoped for a brighter day. Then came the Pandemic.
After suffering from COVID-19 herself, Kyla concluded that something had to be done. Paul returned to his workshop to adapt Lawyer Told Me Not to Talk to You to life in a pandemic. The result: Lawyer Told Me Not to Talk to You® face masks.
How can we help?
What is your most perplexing problem in a pandemic?
The risk of infection and people who want you to talk to them.
No solution is perfect but the “Lawyer Told Me Not to Talk to You®” masks are perhaps the closest we will find in these upsetting times.
Made from a soft cotton polyester blend, these breathable face masks sit comfortably over your nose and mouth.
The masks fit sizes from small to large and they are elasticated for added comfort.
With “Lawyer told me not to talk to you.” printed on the outer side, send a message to all who see you.